BONE MARROW TRANSPLANT!

Dearest Family and Friends,
When I walked into the room at UCLA, the first thing I saw was my little peach sitting up in her bed while the nurse was fiddling with about 20 lines coming from the two huge pumps by her bedside. Cookie gave me a smile, even though she had been up all night long and had a 102 temperature, and said "Hi, Grandma! I'm glad you're here. Today is the last day I will have cancer."

Cookie had been the most ill, never sleeping all night, because of the vomiting. They simply could not get it under control. They gave her Ativan, a large dose, and she was also hallucinating. By morning, she her body ached from retching all night long and they had to give her medication for pain also. Then, she began itching. They also started her nourishment, through IV. By mid morning, they were preparing her for the transplant, premedicating her and checking her lines, and what do you know? One of her lines is not working. We're now about an hour away from the transplant. Which, by the way, was a HUGE dark cloud that took all of the air out of the room as it hung langorously over all of our heads, including Cookie's. She could not relax or get comfortable or sleep, even after everything they gave her. She opened her eyes at the slightest movement, especially near her lines.

Once they plugged in the heart monitor, we could all see her level of anxiety. Her pulse was very high but she kept her emotions in check, as is her custom so as not to alarm or upset US. She thinks she's so clever but we're the pros. We know her every move. We were on to her. We were feeling the same as she was. Tough crowd.

For the line problem, which we've had in the past, there is a solution that they "push" into the line and let it sit there. It hopefully will clear the line. We're an hour away from transplant, the solution is in the line and we're ready to go......waiting for the cord blood to arrive. It's a small room and there's two beds, as I've mentioned before. Of course, Cookie is in one them. I'm sitting at the foot of her bed, holding her hand. She won't let go. I have a stitch in left side of my spine but she won't let go of my hand. They need her arm for the blood pressure cuff. She removes her hand for only as long as it takes to put the cuff on. I stand and stretch. She reaches for my hand. I'm back on the bed. As long as we can touch, we're safe. Thank God for Matt and his techno brain. He's documenting everying with is camcorder. I forgot mine at home but it would NOT be possible for me to do the bed thing AND film. I'm glad I forgot mine. Shelee is sitting right next to us on her bed.

Cookie's nurse for this day has been attending to her for the past two days. She rearranged her other schedules to be Cookie's nurse for the transplant. The nursing staff has been very good up until now. Fariba is a very tough act to follow. She's soft and caring, extremely effecient, informative and completely attentive. She even had burned her hand with hot water the day before making formula for a little baby patient and she still made sure she was Cookie's transplant nurse with a bandaged hand. It's the "Cookie Aura". Once you see it or are a part of it, you have a need to be near her. I'm not making this up. Ask anyone that knows her.

Ok, back to the room. Our doctor this week is one of Dr. Moore's associates, Dr. Kempert. She's a wonderful woman with a quiet and direct personna. She's there with us, our nurse Fariba, the care partner, Doreth, then two women enter with the cord blood in a red and white cooler. Fariba and the women, at the same time, read off a series of numbers and information on Cookie's wristband, then again to match it with the id on the cord blood. It's the right one! It's even the same BLOOD TYPE! How lucky can we get! It's traveled all the way from NEW YORK! It's a just a tiny little bag filled with the most precious, most anticipated, most important gift Cookie will ever receive. We all know it and we all feel it.

Fariba flushes Cookie's line and EUREKA!!! it's working! It's drawing back and we're good to go. NO WORRIES! We hope that this will relieve some of Cookie's anxiety. Next, the tiny traveler is hooked up and we begin the transplant at 1:00pm sharp, Wednesday, April 26, 2006. Cookie's little lip is quivering and she's trembling all over. It takes 6 minutes. It's done. We all picture the new little cells just running amok inside our girl, trying to find the best place to set up shop and call home. Our message to those little newcomers is....."Get comfortable! THRIVE! REPRODUCE! BE HAPPY! STAY FOREVER!!!!"

Fifteen minutes later, everyone is gone, except Fariba who stays in the room with Cookie for an hour after the transplant to make sure she's ok. Cookie's heart rate drops from 164 to 120 in those 15 minutes. They think she's going to sleep because of all of the medication they've given her and her anxiety. Nope. Not Cook. She wants to play Old Maid! Her Grammy brought her a huge bag of crafts and coloring books and all sorts of stuff, oh, and Old Maid. She beat me. Uh uh. She beat me. I had the Old Maid the whole time and she NEVER even came close to taking it. Dr. Kempert popped her head in and couldn't believe she was sitting up playing cards. Shortly after we finished playing, Cookie laid down and tried to get comfortable.

That cloud I spoke about had gone. We were all breathing normally and talking and even laughing. It felt SO good to LAUGH! In the ROOM! WITH COOKIE!

We're far from done but we're on the plus side now. No more chemotherapy. Cookie already has mouth sores and they're going to get a lot worse. The most frightening thing in front of us is how her body will react to it's new residents. This is the part called "Graph vs. Host Disease". It's level of severity is different for everyone. We have a lot of positive's going for us so we just have to wait and see. Cookie's immune system, at this point, is completely zero. You just don't realize how much you depend on your body to take care of itself. Cookie's body cannot take care of itself at all right now so that's the main concern.

Thank you one and all for the beautiful comments and good wishes you've been sending to Cookie! And thank you for all of the support you've been sending my way. We're so very grateful for the circle of friends and family that have formed around us. I hope we're as good of friends to all of you should you ever need us. But if you do, please try not to need us until we've finished climbing this mountain! Deal?
Have a beautiful day and I'll write again soon!
Much love, Gloria COOKIE Warren

COOKIE, Friday 4/21 thru Monday 4/24

Dearest Friends and Family,
You will NOT believe what just happened to me. I still don'e believe it! I'm a new "blogger" and our first "date" is not turning out how I had planned. I just wrote a HUGE update and it took over an hour to complete. I clicked on "Publish Post" and it pops up and says "Unable to publish. Scheduled maintenance." It LOST my update! The entire thing is no where to be found. Well, I had a good cry. In the kitchen. With my head on the counter. Out loud. I probably needed it all day but I was really disappointed that all of my work was lost. Anyway, I'm over it and this is the one you get. It's not like I don't remember what I wrote about! Ha!

Today is Monday, April 24th and Cookie has been the sickest so far for the last 24 hours. Let me go back......

Aunt Shannon, Parker and I left for the motorhome and UCLA at 12:45pm on Friday, April 21. We went directly to the motorhome to drop off all of our bags, supplies and food. We were moving in! Shelee surprised Parker and drove over from the hospital. Parker saw the yellow Beetle driving into the parking lot and said "Dad's coming!" Then he took a closer look and it was Mommy! He was so excited he could hardly wait for her to open the door. Of course, as is our habit, we all cried.

We put our stuff away and followed Shelee over to the hospital parking lot. So far, so good. Cookie was looking beautiful and pink and soft and smiling. She was doing pretty good considering it was her first day of chemotherapy. She was hungry for the meatloaf meatballs, mashed potatoes and green beans she had requested that I make. We made Cookie a plate and she ate almost every bite.

Shelee, Matt, Aunt Shannon and Parker went to dinner in Westwood Village and Cookie and I stayed behind. We watched movies, played Yahtzee, Cookie won. Played Mancala, Cookie won. I quit. Cookie laughed. Even the Care Partner laughed. I wasn't thinking that there was anything worth all of that laughter. :)

We left for the motorhome about 8:30pm. We were definitely dragging. Figured out our assigned sleeping arrangements and hit the sack.

Saturday morning it was cold and rainy. We encouraged Parker to leave all the buttons and bells and whistles in the motorhome alone long enough to get dressed. He's very very mechanically inclined and a pain in the butt. We also discovered that we didn't get any creamer for our coffee. So we got ourselves dressed and headed to the hospital. We'd been told that they served a great breakfast in the cafeteria. I don't know who told us that but they were mistaken. You need to know that Parker is the pickiest eater on this planet.

Shelee came down to meet us and Shannon and I were a little stressed out at this point. We had gotten in line behind 6 little female employees and the cook was just laughing and joking with them. He finally nodded at me so I took it to mean "Hello. What would you like?" So I asked for 2 scrambled eggs with cheese. With no acknowledgement whatsoever, he threw 2 eggs on the grill, mixed them up and threw them on a plate that he shoved at me without even looking at me. It was crowded by this time. I took the plate and Parker got one look at it and said "I'm not going to eat that!" Shannon and I looked at each other and said, "We know." Shelee shows up, hugs her son and he says "I'm not going to eat those!". Shelee feels for us and says "I know." We grab a hard boiled egg, 3 coffees and get the heck out of there. We parked ourselves in some chairs at the front of the hospital and let Parker eat his hard boiled egg while we drank our coffee. Then we all walked outside and sat by a large grassy area. We played hide and seek and had some laughs and good conversation.

When we got up to the room, Matt was ready to take Parker for the day. He said hi to Cookie and off they went to Santa Monica Pier. Us girls watched movies, played games and talked all day long. It's a really busy room. Between the Doctor, the Resident, the Intern, the Nurse, the Care Partner and us, Cookie is very well taken care of. Unfortunately, she still has to do the hard part.

By the time Matt and Parker got back to the hospital, about 7:00pm, Parker was tired, hungry and dirty. He couldn't stay in the room and it was time leave so Shelee could give Cookie her bath. More good byes.

We got back to the motorhome, ate leftovers and filmed Parker taking a bath in an adorable little tiny bathtub that we didn't put much water in because we wanted to conserve the water supply. It was funny and he'll appreciate it when we show him and his girlfriends the home movies when he grows up.

Parker was up in the bedroom and closed the sliding door and opened it and closed it and suddenly he said, from behind a closed door, "Grandma. I locked the door and I can't get it open." I'm half dressed, getting ready for bed. Calmly, I go to the door and work the lock. It won't budge. A light goes on in my head, right next to the panic button, and I look in the "tool drawer" and find a pair of pliers. I used them to open the lock. You should have seen the look on Parker's face. He said, "I won't be playing with that door anymore." What else was there to say?

Shelee called to say good night to Parker and give us an update on Cookie. She wasn't feeling very well and she hadn't eaten anything all day long. It's the 2nd day of Ara-C chemo and the effects are beginning to show.

Next morning, Sunday, we got out of the motorhome and went to Chenny's (Denny's) for breakfast. Then we headed up to the hospital. Cookie wasn't doing very well. They had just begun the next kind of chemo, Citoxin. Citoxin is so toxic that the nurses have to wear protective clothing and gloves to administer it. 25 years ago, my mother was part of a research group that tested Citoxin. 25 years later, my beautiful granddaughter is depending on it.

Aunt Shannon, Parker and I packed up and went home. Leaving is the most difficult and not just for Parker. It's just so hard to leave my daughter. When Shelee called Sunday night, she needed to talk and Shannon and I were on the phone with her. We all talked and cried and talked for an hour. Cookie was the sickest she'd been. They had come in and confirmed that she had something called C-Diff. It's a type of intestinal infection caused by meds and chemo. Cookie is no stranger to C-Diff. She had it at least 12 times during her last relapse. We were hoping to avoid it. They've been premedicating her from day one but to no avail. It causes severe stomach cramps, vomiting and diarrhea. Wow. So does all of the radiation and chemo that she's been getting for the last 3 days. Next step is to rearrange some of the medication and get her started on an antibiotic that she's allergic to and needs premedication. Also, I forgot to mention one of the other effects of the treatment she's been getting...mouth sores. She's got those too. The good news is that she was able to get the liquid antibiotic down and keep it down.

By today, Monday, she had been given 2 doses of antibiotics, was still vomiting and having diarrhea and was feeling like she could hardly lift her head up. The doctor told her that she needed to tell her when she was in pain so they can give her something for it. They do NOT want her to suffer. At least no more than she has to. By early afternoon today, she's feeling much better. A little bit of vomiting but feeling much better. Her counts are not quite zero yet but are fast approaching. Parker will no longer be able to go visit for a month or two. Aunt Shannon and I will be taking turns going up there. We want to make sure one of us is here to take care of Parker.

To sum all of this up, I will tell you what Cookie told her mom after the doctor went out of the room. She looked up at Shelee with those beautiful blue eyes and said, "Don't worry, Mom. My pain isn't at the level where I need medication for it." I guess that MY pain isn't either.

God bless any and all of you that get through all of my rambling. It helps me and it informs those of you interested enough and loving us enough to read it. If you thought this one was long, you should have seen the first one that I lost. It was a DOOZIE!
Until then....with love....Gloria COOKIE Warren

Cookie's First Week

Dear Friends and Family,
Well, I'll try to find some humor in this update but sadly there isn't very much......Cookie finished 3 days of full body radiation, twice a day Tuesday through Thursday. The first day, the first treatment left her vomiting before she even got back up to the room. She was very ill the first day until they found just the right combination of medications to keep her comfortable. Radiation also makes you tired so mixing that with the medications left her pretty relaxed. By day three, because of one of the mediations, Decadron, which is a steroid, her appetite was a little stimulated. She told her dad that she felt like either a bagel or cinnamon roll would be good for breakfast. Of course, Matt went down the elevator to the cafeteria, found what he was looking for, back up the elevator into the room and the feeling had gone. She couldn't eat after all. By mid day, a few nibbles but mostly naps. After her last treatment at about 2:20pm, she was more awake and alert and felt like she could nibble.

Shelee and Cookie played Yahtzee, Double Solitaire, nibbled, napped, more Double Solitaire, nibbled.

Cookie has to have a bath every single day. She has the dressing on her broviac changed 3 times a week. The bath is their own private one, thank goodness. Housekeeping has to clean it every day before Cookie can have her bath. Shelee takes her "shower" after Cookie has her bath. The "shower head" is about 4 feet high, the tub is a 3 1/2 - 4 ft. wide square and there is no shower curtain (because of bacteria). There is a tile "bench" that Shelee has to sit on, mostly to get rinsed off. It's a whole new world, all right.

Shannon, Parker and I went up to hospital on Wednesday. Our first stop is the motorhome to unload some food and drinks and let Parker pull down the stairs and unlock the door. We called Matt and he was coming the motorhome to spend time with Parker. We were racing against time because Shannon and I wanted to get to the hospital to go to radiation with Cookie and Shelee. So, we get the stuff unloaded and wait for Matt. In the meantime, Parker is showing where the propane tank is and how you check to see if the motorhome is level and generally schooling me in the mechanics of Motorhome, Part 1. We're racing the clock to be with Shelee so here we are chomping at the bit for Matt to get there! I see the yellow beetle pulling into the parking lot and Parker is so excited to see his dad! We race over to kiss him and drive away, leaving Parker and Matt to fend for themselves.

We had a ton of "stuff" to deliver to Cookie's room.....again. It's hard to decide what food and supplies to take to Shelee and what to leave at the motorhome so we decided to take most of it to the hospital and let her decide what she should keep. We also had more room decorations that we had picked up. We have a granny cart that we've used over the years to get "stuff" from the parking lot to the hospital room. Well, armed with our new monthly parking pass that hangs in the window of the car, we went through the parking kiosk and pulled up to the parking "arm" but could not figure out how to make the arm go UP! Our parking pass isn't the kind of pass that you can swipe. We sat there discussing the possibilities while several cars pulled up behind us, clamouring to get a turn at the parking arm. We had to put the car in reverse, with the hopes that the folks behind us would get the hint that we were idiots in a jam. They did, thankfully, and we backed out and pulled through the parking kiosk once again to ask for direction. The guard gave us our "parking key" that's good for 5 days, the kind you can swipe! Eureka! We're off to the parking arm again. We swipe and we're in! Now, where should we park?

As we're deciding on the most advantageous parking spot for us, Shelee calls to see where we are. We have about 7 minutes before they come to pick Cookie up. Me being the MoM thought I could hear disappointment in Shelee's voice because she was going alone with Cookie so I tell Shannon to hightail it up there and I'll get the cart loaded and meet them in the room. Shannon takes off blindly, guessing how to get into the hospital and how to get to Room 324! It's that complicated! It will get easier but we're not there yet.

So, I load the 4 bags of food, supplies, laundry, comforter and 3 poster boards with pictures on them, lock the car and truck it down to the elevator. I know where to get off of the elevator but when I do I'm faced with stairs and cannot figure how to get to Point B with the cart and pictures and my purse and keys and, well, you get the picture. The phone rings, it's Shelee. I tell her Shannon is on her way. Shannon arrives and Shelee tells her that she's fine for her to find me and help me. Shannon, being Shannon, follows directions and calls me on the cell phone. She wants to know where I am. How do I know where I am? If I knew where I was, I would be on my way to the room! I tell her I'll get there eventually and I have everything under control. I get back into the elevator, take it back down to the level I started on and get out. I walk up the ramp, pulling the darn cart and readjusting the pictures under my arm. I walk, walk, walk, following the little pictures on wall of people walking and find an entrance. I take the elevator up the P2 which stands for the Level 1 of the hospital. I probably should have known that but I'm new.
As I get off of the elevator and begin entering the front of the hospital, I see Shannon and she comes to my aide. We make it up to the 3rd floor and into the room. Shelee flies by and grabs us so we can go down to radiation. Cookie is already in the room.

We can see her on two monitors. She's laying on her side, covered to her shoulders and we can see her peach fuzz and her beautiful, serene face as she sleeps. She saves her "sleeps" for radiation. They're blasting one of her Hilary Duff cds as she rests. The technician, Jesus, is a sweet bear of a man and he's very kind and gentle with our girl. After her 30 minutes is up, he goes into the room with Shelee and they turn Cookie over for the next 30 minutes. Cookies doesn't know that Aunt Shannon and I are there yet. Once her treatment is over, we were allowed to all go into the room to get her. She smiles at the sight of us (who wouldn't?) and I want to smother her right then and there. So, I use self control and only slightly smother her. She's all pink and warm and knowing that it's not from a quick nap in the sun just breaks my heart. She gets into the wheelchair and I arm wrestle the attendent to see who gets to push her. He wins.

Once back in her room, we get her cozy and she's sitting up and smiling and talking to us a little bit. We begin unloading our cart, sorting out the keepers from what goes to the motorhome. Then it's time to DECORATE! I found a 50 foot banner with SEA TURTLES on it! It's made out of thin plastic tablecloth material! Aunt Shannon and Mommy get on the chair and put it up across the top of the long window! It looks like they're swimming around with the light shining through it! Awesome! We put up a couple of palm tree decals and the picture boards and the room is looking good. Cookie says she's really comfortable! Aunt Shannon bought Cookie a new coverlet, all white and pink and green with beautiful little palm tress embroidered in some of the squares. Cookie loved it.

Since she's feeling pretty good, she nibbles a few Pringles, a few Healthy Choice cookies and some water. She kicks my butt in a game of Yahtzee so we only played one game. Humph. Then she settles down for a little nap.

Daddy decides to return Parker to us. They allowed all of us to be in the room but that's the last time. We took some really cute pictures that I haven't downloaded yet but I'll try to send one next time. Time to say good bye. It's one of the most heartbreaking aspects of this entire ordeal. As the "grown ups" we do everything we're supposed to do to be strong and undertanding and wise. Fergetaboutit. Find me a better way to get through this and you'll be a millionaire. How do you show Parker how to wrap his brain around leaving his mommy behind?

Once we're buckled in the car and Shelee takes her leave, it's my turn to sit in the back seat with Parker and hold him and soothe him while we drive. He cries for a little while, says he doesn't want to talk but he does want to hold on to my arm. You can see him working it out mentally and his little chin is quivering. It's so heartwrenching and I'm doing everything humanly possible NOT to just bury my head in HIS lap and cry like a baby! Once again, God help us all.

Yesterday, Thursday, was pretty uneventful if you can call having two radiation treatments uneventful. We're all done now and we're on to the next step of "conditioning". Chemotherapy begins today, Friday. Aunt Shannon, Parker and I are packing up to go spend the night in the motorhome tonight. We'll pick Parker up from pre school and we're on our way.

Cookie will be getting 2 days of a very strong drug affectionately called ARA-C. It will make her nauseated and cause fevers. It also dries the eyes out. Then she will get 2 more days of another drug called Citoxin. It will cause extreme diarrhea. Please understand that they will be, and have been, giving her various meds that will help lessen the effects as much as possible. We've had both of these drugs several times before but not in these high doses. Cookie will then have one day off and the transplant will take place on Wednesday, 4/26.

I'm sure that after this weekend I'll have tons more to write about. I hope it helps you half as much as it helps me. This whole family wishes the best to all of you and your families. Until next time......Love, Cookie

Cookie Day One

Dearest Friends and Family,
Well, we made it through one of the most trying days of our lives yesterday. We left the most intrigal part of our family at UCLA last night. I'll give you a brief little summary of how the day went.....

We all woke at our planned time, left the house at 10:00 and went to "Chenny's" (Denny's....it's Parker's name for the restaurant) for breakfast. We joked, we laughed and we swallowed hard. We were back on the road by 11:30 and went straight to UCLA Parking Lot 36 where the motorhome is parked. We unloaded a few things and showed Cookie and Parker around. Specifically so Cookie would have a mental picture of where we would be and so Parker would get a little acquainted with the place. He is the keeper of the stairs and the doorkey to get in. Very important jobs.

12:15...time to go. We had a CAR LOAD of stuff to take into the hospital. After all, we were moving in. We parked in the underground "Admissions" parking lot and proceeded to unload so we could park the cars. That done, we loaded our cart and our arms and began the long walk into the bowels of UCLA Main Hospital, still unsure where Mattel Childrens Hospital is, exactly. BUT, I asked directions and off we went, like a well oiled machine. Ha! Hardly! We had to stop to adjust our bundles and make sure Cookie and Parker were still with us. It was laughable, thankfully.

We found the elevator and took it up to the 1st floor, Admissions. Dropped our "stuff" and hurried up and waited, for 45 minutes. People Watching at it's best. Both Cookie and Parker were so patient. (Off of the subject for a moment, the night before Parker had the need for all of us to hold hands and a say a "pray" before dinner. He insisted that we all say something so we went around the circle and asked for strength, success, love and most of all TOLERANCE. Parker asked that Cookie and Mommy could just stay home and that Cookie not have Leukemia but I think his is the only wish that could not be granted.) Once we got the paperwork in order, we picked up our loads, uniformly and orderly as when we entered, and followed the little pinched-faced lady to the OTHER elevators and up to the 3rd floor to the "Transplant/Critical Unit" of Mattel Childrens Hospital. As soon as we entered the doors, there were expectant, smiling nurses and aides that lead us to "our" room, Room 324. We all walked in ALL of our mouths dropped open. Our nurse, Tammy, was a doll. She began talking and we just stood there. She finally left the room and we stood in place, turning circles, our arms still full, looking at the room that we were going to leave MY Shelee and My Cookie in for the next three months. It was disgraceful, and that's being generous. We couldn't even set our stuff down, it was that dirty. Yes, it's an old building so we allowed for the wear and tear but condition of the room was absolutely unacceptable.

There was only one bed, one nightstand. There was hair in the shower, stuck on the doors, dirt in every corner, dirt on top of the "PEDS ONLY" trash can, filth on the broken vertical blinds, filthy windows, filthy floor, dirty bedspread, broken and FILTHY refrigerator, stickers and dirty old tape on the walls and the room smelled. WE WERE APPALLED! Shelee broke down, standing at the windows and when the nurse and aide came in I let them know that we would NOT be staying in this room. There was no way we were leaving this family in this room for the next 3 plus months. Well, they're busy people and once they actually opened their eyes and looked around, they truly turned red. They whisked us out of there in about 3 minutes and put us in another room down the hall so our room could be cleaned. We were in the other room for about 2 1/2 hours. During that time, we got to go downstairs to the cafeteria and eat and then back up to the waiting room. The doctor found us and was SOOO embarrassed. He had come in just after we left and he showed us his list of names where heads were going to roll. He could not have apologized more. We loved him the first time we met him and we loved him even more now. This was the first time COOKIE has met him. He stayed and talked and laughed with us and told us just what is expected. He has a beautiful manner and he always makes you feel like you can conquer anything. Thank GOD. More importantly, he made Cookie feel better because she has been SO nervous and scared and the room just about made us turn around.

Well, at 5:00, Tammy came and got us and we went for the room inspection. It was like a new room! Parker even said "It smells beautiful!" The head supervisor of maintenance came to Shelee and gave her a card with his numbers on it. He said to call for ANYTHING she needs and he will personally take care of it! Even Dr. Moore came in and did the white glove test. He was very happy and said we could stay. :)

Matt then took Parker back to the motorhome for a little while and us girls went to work decorating the walls with posters and stick ons and Cookie's STUFF. We transformed it into a livable, doable habitat. Matt and Parker came back at 7:00, Matt got Burger King for the kids (Cookie's last time she can have it. She will be on a "bacteria free" diet from now on.) I had a cup of coffee and we finished lining shelves and drawers and unpacking. Cookie laid on her bed and started reading her book and watching tv and Parker got on Shelee's bed. The day was coming to a close and we were all exhausted.

Time to say good night. Toughest time of the day. Parker couldn't let go of Shelee and Cookie wouldn't let go of me. They had a good cry and a well deserved one. We all did very, very well ALL DAY LONG. After a few minutes, and tons of hugs and kisses, Matt stayed with Cookie and Shelee walked with us to the car, holding Parker's hand a little longer.

Once we said Good Night, Shelee went on her way and Aunt Shannon sat in the back seat next to Parker. He worked very hard to be brave. I couldn't have been prouder of him in a million years. He fell asleep before we got on the freeway. We got home about 9:30pm. Parker was asleep and neither Shannon or I can carry him. We pulled up and Shannon came around to his door. She crouched down and we lowered him onto Shannon's back and then I had to help her stand up! We started laughing hysterically! We got him in the house though!

Today, Tuesday, they were taking Cookie for her first radiation treatment at 7:30am. It takes about one hour. She has to lay still, in the fetal position, 30 minutes on each side. Shelee can see her through a little window and can talk to her but Cookie can't move. She'll repeat it again in the afternoon. This will go on for 3 days. It was originally scheduled for 4 but they changed it to 2. Then the chemo will begin for I think 4 more days with one day rest. Transplant is on 4/27. During all of this, she is to be bathed every day and have her dressing changed on the broviac every day (instead of once a week). They said they have some special ways of making it less painful.

Shelee just called. She didn't get much sleep last night, being the first night and all. They're doing a major maintenance on the radiation equipment in their building so they're taking Cookie across the street to the other facility for radiation. She has to go in an ambulance so that's how their day is beginning. Cookie is already premedicated to relax her before the treatment, but they thought she'd be asleep. She was sitting up in bed playing her Nintendo DS. She doesn't want to miss the ambulance ride. God, I wish I could see things through her eyes!

Their nurse today is a 12 year cancer survivor. She's very, very nice. She got leukemia when she was 16 years old and ended up having a bone marrow transplant. She felt she needed to work in that field to help children get through it. All good news and it is a beautiful day in the neighborhood today.

So, that's it in a nutshell (or nuthouse, as it were). I will keep you all posted as the week's events unfold. Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. We need your love now more than ever.

Gloria COOKIE Warren