COOKIE, Friday 4/21 thru Monday 4/24

Dearest Friends and Family,
You will NOT believe what just happened to me. I still don'e believe it! I'm a new "blogger" and our first "date" is not turning out how I had planned. I just wrote a HUGE update and it took over an hour to complete. I clicked on "Publish Post" and it pops up and says "Unable to publish. Scheduled maintenance." It LOST my update! The entire thing is no where to be found. Well, I had a good cry. In the kitchen. With my head on the counter. Out loud. I probably needed it all day but I was really disappointed that all of my work was lost. Anyway, I'm over it and this is the one you get. It's not like I don't remember what I wrote about! Ha!

Today is Monday, April 24th and Cookie has been the sickest so far for the last 24 hours. Let me go back......

Aunt Shannon, Parker and I left for the motorhome and UCLA at 12:45pm on Friday, April 21. We went directly to the motorhome to drop off all of our bags, supplies and food. We were moving in! Shelee surprised Parker and drove over from the hospital. Parker saw the yellow Beetle driving into the parking lot and said "Dad's coming!" Then he took a closer look and it was Mommy! He was so excited he could hardly wait for her to open the door. Of course, as is our habit, we all cried.

We put our stuff away and followed Shelee over to the hospital parking lot. So far, so good. Cookie was looking beautiful and pink and soft and smiling. She was doing pretty good considering it was her first day of chemotherapy. She was hungry for the meatloaf meatballs, mashed potatoes and green beans she had requested that I make. We made Cookie a plate and she ate almost every bite.

Shelee, Matt, Aunt Shannon and Parker went to dinner in Westwood Village and Cookie and I stayed behind. We watched movies, played Yahtzee, Cookie won. Played Mancala, Cookie won. I quit. Cookie laughed. Even the Care Partner laughed. I wasn't thinking that there was anything worth all of that laughter. :)

We left for the motorhome about 8:30pm. We were definitely dragging. Figured out our assigned sleeping arrangements and hit the sack.

Saturday morning it was cold and rainy. We encouraged Parker to leave all the buttons and bells and whistles in the motorhome alone long enough to get dressed. He's very very mechanically inclined and a pain in the butt. We also discovered that we didn't get any creamer for our coffee. So we got ourselves dressed and headed to the hospital. We'd been told that they served a great breakfast in the cafeteria. I don't know who told us that but they were mistaken. You need to know that Parker is the pickiest eater on this planet.

Shelee came down to meet us and Shannon and I were a little stressed out at this point. We had gotten in line behind 6 little female employees and the cook was just laughing and joking with them. He finally nodded at me so I took it to mean "Hello. What would you like?" So I asked for 2 scrambled eggs with cheese. With no acknowledgement whatsoever, he threw 2 eggs on the grill, mixed them up and threw them on a plate that he shoved at me without even looking at me. It was crowded by this time. I took the plate and Parker got one look at it and said "I'm not going to eat that!" Shannon and I looked at each other and said, "We know." Shelee shows up, hugs her son and he says "I'm not going to eat those!". Shelee feels for us and says "I know." We grab a hard boiled egg, 3 coffees and get the heck out of there. We parked ourselves in some chairs at the front of the hospital and let Parker eat his hard boiled egg while we drank our coffee. Then we all walked outside and sat by a large grassy area. We played hide and seek and had some laughs and good conversation.

When we got up to the room, Matt was ready to take Parker for the day. He said hi to Cookie and off they went to Santa Monica Pier. Us girls watched movies, played games and talked all day long. It's a really busy room. Between the Doctor, the Resident, the Intern, the Nurse, the Care Partner and us, Cookie is very well taken care of. Unfortunately, she still has to do the hard part.

By the time Matt and Parker got back to the hospital, about 7:00pm, Parker was tired, hungry and dirty. He couldn't stay in the room and it was time leave so Shelee could give Cookie her bath. More good byes.

We got back to the motorhome, ate leftovers and filmed Parker taking a bath in an adorable little tiny bathtub that we didn't put much water in because we wanted to conserve the water supply. It was funny and he'll appreciate it when we show him and his girlfriends the home movies when he grows up.

Parker was up in the bedroom and closed the sliding door and opened it and closed it and suddenly he said, from behind a closed door, "Grandma. I locked the door and I can't get it open." I'm half dressed, getting ready for bed. Calmly, I go to the door and work the lock. It won't budge. A light goes on in my head, right next to the panic button, and I look in the "tool drawer" and find a pair of pliers. I used them to open the lock. You should have seen the look on Parker's face. He said, "I won't be playing with that door anymore." What else was there to say?

Shelee called to say good night to Parker and give us an update on Cookie. She wasn't feeling very well and she hadn't eaten anything all day long. It's the 2nd day of Ara-C chemo and the effects are beginning to show.

Next morning, Sunday, we got out of the motorhome and went to Chenny's (Denny's) for breakfast. Then we headed up to the hospital. Cookie wasn't doing very well. They had just begun the next kind of chemo, Citoxin. Citoxin is so toxic that the nurses have to wear protective clothing and gloves to administer it. 25 years ago, my mother was part of a research group that tested Citoxin. 25 years later, my beautiful granddaughter is depending on it.

Aunt Shannon, Parker and I packed up and went home. Leaving is the most difficult and not just for Parker. It's just so hard to leave my daughter. When Shelee called Sunday night, she needed to talk and Shannon and I were on the phone with her. We all talked and cried and talked for an hour. Cookie was the sickest she'd been. They had come in and confirmed that she had something called C-Diff. It's a type of intestinal infection caused by meds and chemo. Cookie is no stranger to C-Diff. She had it at least 12 times during her last relapse. We were hoping to avoid it. They've been premedicating her from day one but to no avail. It causes severe stomach cramps, vomiting and diarrhea. Wow. So does all of the radiation and chemo that she's been getting for the last 3 days. Next step is to rearrange some of the medication and get her started on an antibiotic that she's allergic to and needs premedication. Also, I forgot to mention one of the other effects of the treatment she's been getting...mouth sores. She's got those too. The good news is that she was able to get the liquid antibiotic down and keep it down.

By today, Monday, she had been given 2 doses of antibiotics, was still vomiting and having diarrhea and was feeling like she could hardly lift her head up. The doctor told her that she needed to tell her when she was in pain so they can give her something for it. They do NOT want her to suffer. At least no more than she has to. By early afternoon today, she's feeling much better. A little bit of vomiting but feeling much better. Her counts are not quite zero yet but are fast approaching. Parker will no longer be able to go visit for a month or two. Aunt Shannon and I will be taking turns going up there. We want to make sure one of us is here to take care of Parker.

To sum all of this up, I will tell you what Cookie told her mom after the doctor went out of the room. She looked up at Shelee with those beautiful blue eyes and said, "Don't worry, Mom. My pain isn't at the level where I need medication for it." I guess that MY pain isn't either.

God bless any and all of you that get through all of my rambling. It helps me and it informs those of you interested enough and loving us enough to read it. If you thought this one was long, you should have seen the first one that I lost. It was a DOOZIE!
Until then....with love....Gloria COOKIE Warren